Non-Verbal communication
Only 7% of communication is in the words we say, 38% is in the tone of our voices, and 55% is in our body language. Non-verbal communication is a very important part of sending messages, here are 6 functions of non-verbal communication:
- Repeating (repeat answers with gestures)
- Complementing (expressions that match thoughts, emotions, etc.)
- Substituting (gesture instead of answering)
- Accenting (nonverbal devices in oral messages, i.e. tonality)
- Regulating (influencing the flow of verbal communication)
- Contradicting (sending mixed messages)
Using some or all of these functions can help you effectively communicate a message. In the song below, you will see Babe and Sid explain how much they love each other by Repeating, Complementing and Accenting their words with gestures as well as tonality.
Listening
A good listener pays attention to paralanguage: facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures, pitch and speed of speaking, and other nonverbal cues. Here are the 5 elements of effective listening:
However, some people are bad listeners. Here are 7 types of ineffective listening:
- Hearing (the physiological dimension of listening)
- Attending (psychological selection of what to pay attention to)
- Understanding (make sense of the message)
- Responding (giving observable feedback)
- Remembering (recalling the information)
However, some people are bad listeners. Here are 7 types of ineffective listening:
- Pseudolistening (imitating the act of listening)
- Stage-hogging (shift focus from speaker)
- Selective listening (choosing what to hear)
- Insulated listening (failing to acknowledge difficult topics)
- Defensive listening (taking others' opinions as personal attacks)
- Ambushing (listen only to collect info for attack)
- Insensitive listening (don't respond to deeper emotions of conversation)
In this video, you will see Candide and Cunegonde ineffectively listening to each other as they discuss their future marriage. They each go on to list everything they want in life, failing to hear how their lover is saying the exact opposite of their desires. This is a great example of pseudo- and selective listening. They exhibit pseudolistening when they only pretend to hear and respond to what the other speaker is saying, while also using selective listening when they only hear what parts they agree on and what they want to hear from the other person.
Adler, Ronald B., Judith A. Rolls, and Russell F. Proctor, II. LOOK: Looking Out, Looking in. Toronto: Nelson Education, 2012. Print.
The Pajama Game. Dir. George Abbott and Stanley Donen. By Richard Bissell, Richard Adler, and Jerry Ross. Perf. Doris Day and John Raitt. N.d. Web.
Candide in Concert. By Voltaire and Leonard Bernstein. Perf. Kristin Chenoweth and Paul Groves. N.d. Web.
The Pajama Game. Dir. George Abbott and Stanley Donen. By Richard Bissell, Richard Adler, and Jerry Ross. Perf. Doris Day and John Raitt. N.d. Web.
Candide in Concert. By Voltaire and Leonard Bernstein. Perf. Kristin Chenoweth and Paul Groves. N.d. Web.